the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)
I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.
ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.
the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!
With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said.
"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get
"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.
"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."
Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations.
"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.
Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.
This a million times
Sending a big “FU” to the corporate side of the fashion industry.
As an increasingly successful fashion blogger, I have been targeted by several brands, large & small, one of which is quite a large corporation.
Because I am undermining a very important part of their money making system.
Today, the fashion industry is split in half.
You have Women’s fashion & Men’s fashion.
You will find designers here and there who produce androgynous designs but for the most part, the industry (brands & corporate companies) want designers who either design Men’s wear or Women’s wear, and follow a very gendered structure. Everything from the tailoring to the materials has to be specific to the binary boy/girl gender system.
This is why you can’t find feminine style’s of clothing tailored for the average males body type in any department store, thus creating a “mens” & “women’s” division.
Every time I modify the clothing I buy in department stores to fit my body type and then model it for people to see, not only am I inspiring people to step out of the box with their fashion choices, but I am merging two markets into one.
Why is this bad for corporations?
More markets equal more advertising and marketing opportunities which ultimately leads to more sales and more profit.
When I successfully inspire people to be less mindful about if they look like a girl or a boy, ultimately I am inspiring them to go against the gendered market system that brands and clothing companies make so much money off of.
I have received several hateful emails, discouraging my efforts as a fashion blogger. I was even asked by a large corporate clothing company to STOP buying their clothing and modifying it to fit my body type. They stated that by doing so, and sharing it with my audience that I was creating the illusion that gender did not exist, and that I am leading a bad example for society. …
A GENDERED SOCIETY CREATES A HUGE PROBLEM.
IT DIVIDES PEOPLE.
IT DISOLVES ANY & ALL ORIGINALITY.
FUCK YOU, to any clothing brand, company & corporation who’s got a problem with who I am, what I believe in & how I express myself.
This is just so important! Gendered clothing is such bullshit and I want more people to realize!!!
IT’S ALWAYS TEA TIME!
my anaconda don’t want none
unless you DEFEAT THE HUNS, SON
Watson formally invited men to join the fight for gender equality in a moving speech on Sept. 21, launching the HeForShe campaign.
Scumbag Baby Boomer memes are the greatest.
*challenger explodes upon launch*
"why is your generation so cynical?"
Informal infographic depicting evolution
|—||Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia (via stfumadison)|
When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.
You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.
These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.
Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.
YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO
I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.
It’s not even October but I’m still spreading this
SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!! Now
Yeah…your director may want to consider reblocking
We don’t have a director? Or blocking??? It’s a haunted house bro, not a play
Reblogging for relevance-
I work at a Haunted House every October, and have been for the past few years. Our house in particular is staffed by Volunteer workers who are either earning credits for Graduation, or people who know the Family that owns the haunted attraction. In our City, we’re one of two Haunted Houses, so while we open in late September, we tend to get incredibly busy during the month of October and often work from 6pm until 2, 3am on weekends.
We do not get paid to help out. Due to our location, we get a lot of drunk guys coming through, and a lot of ‘funny’ teenagers. In my several years working there, I’ve seen Actors get grabbed and thrown, stomped on, kicked, bitten, everything. A lot of the Actors at this attraction are young teenagers, Middle and Secondary School students, so this kind of abuse is terrifying and potentially emotionally scarring.
There’s a position half-way through the house we call ‘Psych Ward’, and it’s essentially a jump scare. The scare is a corner-room, boxed in with walls and broken windows, that the Actor pops out of and shouts and taunts the people going through. October, 2012, a couple were going through the Psych Ward corner and the scare went off as per usual. The girlfriend of this couple got very startled but laughed it off and continued on. The boyfriend, however, back-tracked and went up to the broken window and punched the Actor in the face for scaring his girlfriend. The Actor, who I’m going to call Tracy, had a black eye for a good two weeks solid and the couple had to be escorted out of the house and were banned from the property. Ever since we’ve ruled that Veteran Actors (someone who’s been there for 3+ years) are the only ones allowed in this particular Scaring Spot.
He paid to get scared and then got violent when we delivered.
There are so many stories I can tell of ignorant customers banging back on scares and injuring the Actors inside, grabbing props from the actors and hurting them with it, destroying props because they thought it would be ‘funny’.
I just want to raise awareness that the ACTORS ARE STILL PEOPLE. We’re instructed to get the best kind of scare out of you, sometimes with no pay at all (like this particular attraction), so please respect our work.
We wouldn’t come to your job, mock you, and push you around trying to be ‘funny’. Don’t come to our job and do that to us!
reblogging because ‘tis the season.
tl;dr: If you react to scares with violence, you have no business in a haunted house or similar attractions.
If you think it’s funny to attack people who work or volunteer at these attractions, you do not belong there and I hope you get your neck broken and they use your body as one of the decorations.